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Kerosene the Small Genet-Tryout#2 |
Wednesday, August 17th 2011, 7:04 AM
I left it open so the timer will be off, but I worked on this for a solid hour or two. Finally finished.
Normally I work in MSPaint for my pixels, so this was an interesting challenge.
As for why I didn't safety save it, I didn't want to forget about it.
Things I already know are wrong: Kerosene looks a bit flat, the ground plants are weird, and the tree is kinda oddly shaded. They are things that I have no idea how to fix though and have lost my patience to deal with them.
Other then that though, I'm pretty proud of this, seeing how it's my first good-ish pixel background ^^
Kerosene belongs to Nixodesse on deviantart.
Wednesday, August 17th 2011, 4:55 AM
hint: safety save feature
Thursday, August 18th 2011, 10:10 AM
I get the feeling that nobody has noticed that this is a tryout. Maybe I should just do another one?
Thursday, August 18th 2011, 3:52 PM
Out. You have potential, you just need to practice. I think the problem with this it's kind of hard to judge something so tiny. In small pixel art everything becomes a bit minimized and it might not have been the best choice to make your second tryout something this small. The thing about pixels is also contrast--you still have a problem with that.
The lines on the genet (especially the ones definig the "inside" of the figure) don't contrast enough to make each body part stand out. The dark outlines on the legs are very jarring when put right next to the extremely light color used to outline the tan areas. The shading is also really difficult to see, much like your other tryout--it seems to be entirerly nonexistent on the genet's body, so if it is there it's way, way too subtle. Although the shading on the ground is an improvement it's also hard to tell where the dark shades are coming from. I'd assume they're tree tops, because the shadow under the genet implies the light source is above him, but I can't be sure due to their gradient nature and the fact the shadows are concentrated to only one side of the trunk. Also, blades of grass and tree trunks would cast shadows.
The tail is rather thick and looks more like a solid limb than something fluffy, and it's body seems to be shaped like a pear. The legs also seem rather long for an animal that seems to (from what I've seen) stick closer to the ground. I think finding some pictures of this animal for yourself would better explain.
Thursday, August 18th 2011, 6:26 PM
just like your previous tryout, your shading is incredibly hard to notice. you really need to deepen your shadows. because this is so tiny and pixle-y i can't even tell if that thing has a face or not. as far as i can tell on the anatomy, it's body seems to be a slightly elongated pear. just from looking at my cat right now i can see that on any animal there are a lot more points of definition on their bodies, just like there are on humans. for instance shoulder blades are always quite prominent in animals and usually no matter what you can see their shape. also i'm pretty sure tails don't just grow up out of a butt like that. like you last tryout, you could really do with looking up so references. they help so much.
also please, don't point out 'things you know are wrong'. it makes you seems like you are making excuses, and these tryouts are meant to be THE BEST of your ability. even if you think something looks off, don't make excuses for it by telling us you know it looks wrong. in fact, if you know all those things are wrong, then FIX THEM.
Tryout 1 |
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 2:35 AM
Um I dunno what exactly the protocol is for new tryouts, but here's my first one. The second will probably be a pixel something or other.
My fursona, just chillaxing at a random tree. I really like how this came out :D And I am aware that the horizon line needs work, but I dunno how to fix it. I think I'm going to use this as a new ID on my dA
(Edited on August 16, 2011, 2:36 am)
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 3:05 AM
Well for one, I think you did a really nice job on that tree, especially with all the grain. Anyway, the first thing that really sticks out to me are the wings. I'm not particularly fluent with wings myself, but somebody linked this wing tutorial awhile ago which I think could help you a lot:
Next, her leg that's in that air...doesn't seem to be in a very comfortable position. I think a more natural position would before her leg to be bent and resting on the grass as opposed to awkwardly sticking in the air. Her hands are also on the small side.
That's really all major stuff I can see, just that and you should work a bit more on your contrast when coloring. I do see some shading, but it's so close to the base color that the effect is almost entirely lost. Try deepening the shadows a lot more next time.
Good luck on your next tryout!
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 7:06 AM
i think her leg is broken call 911
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 7:12 AM
also she appears to be missing an eye
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 8:10 AM
@comfortcoat: Thanks for the tutorial ^^ Now that you mention the leg it does look weird and awkward. As for the shading, I was trying to shade it, but the way that I shade white makes it hard to shade and keep white if that makes sense.
@lamb: thanks for the unneeded snide comment, and as for the missing eye I guess I've been watching Bleach too much because that's what Ishida's glasses do all the time (shine and hide his eye). That and I was being a bit lazy.
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 10:04 AM
I love the the way you textured the tree bark! :))
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 12:12 PM
you really shouldn't be lazy on your tryouts
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 12:25 PM
if you want some real crits i can give you some
you need to make your shading more obvious. it's pretty weak and i can barely see it. it's practically non existent on her fur. which could also do with some texture. if she's furry, then maker her look furry, not smooth. your lineart could do with a lot of neatening, it's really fuzzy. also if you're going to put that much detail into the trees lineart, then you should put that much detail into the rest of your lineart, to keep some sort of consistency with your image. in terms of anatomy, her hands are tiny and really weird looking, and her arms are kinda thin probably a bit on the short side. the line on her neck on the left hand side really shouldn't curve like that (if you look at necks, they're pretty straight). the top of the right leg ends in a really weird place and her shorts go down kinda low there, it almost looks like she's hiding a dick in them. as for the pose in general, i suggest using google or devart to find a suitable ref for it. her chest is too central to look natural and her left arm is extended way too far out, she'd have a hard time holding it out that strait for long. your background looks kinda lazy. glowy sunbeams like that don't exist and they make your art look incredibly cartoony and a little bit childish. you should probably go look up some references for clouds too as the ones you've drawn are rather messy. comfortcoat pretty much covered the wings. just look at pictures of birds and junk to see the general shape of them and the layout of the feathers.
(Edited on August 16, 2011, 5:23 pm)
Tuesday, August 16th 2011, 1:36 PM
I'm with lamb on this one.. The pose looks really uncomfortable and unnatural.
Using references could really help you out.
But still, 2 thumbs up for following the rules, it's full body, has a background.. It just needs a little more effort.
Good luck on your second :)
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